Last weekend, I attended a colleague's wedding. I'd like to say that it was on a lovely summer's day but unfortunately, after weeks of forecast rain not actually appearing, the heavens opened up and gave us what can only be described as the entire earth's supply of rainfall in a day. Totally convenient for me then, to be dressed for a summer wedding and bearing the most industrial umbrella I could find. Pretty sure I rocked that "oh this old thing, I just spent a good hour and a half getting dolled up and then walked into the Niagara Falls' look.
(Aside: One thing I love about Korea is how it has disposable umbrella covers available at the entrance of every public building - saves you from awkwardly carrying around a dripping mess and ruining the furniture. You'd think that London, which seems to be the root of all rain, would have jumped on this bandwagon by now.)
Now, if you've never attended a Korean wedding, let me tell you that (from what I have both seen and heard) they show you what true 'production value' is.
Like most weddings, Koreans take pride and care in picking out the venue. Often contemporary weddings here will take place in a 'wedding hall' - even a chapel wedding will take place in a 'chapel-style wedding hall' rather than in an actual church.
When you enter the building, and have finished the usual greetings and niceties ("Oh, we didn't expect you to come." ...I'm a foreign teacher, not anti-marriage), you should go to register your gift money.* It's always interesting to see the family member presiding over the money station become absolutely thrown when I hand them the envelope with "Jennifer" written on it... I hope they don't think I'm a pretentious wannabe-chaebol.
In exchange for your gift, you receive the ultimate prize for that day - the buffet ticket. This isn't even mild sarcasm, as much as it is a sad truth. If you're not a close family member or friend, it's most likely that you're more interested in the food than in the ceremony - you know, the part where the bride and groom express their undying love for each other and actually get married?? Indeed, another colleague in the midst of planning her wedding told me that, although she would prefer a restaurant style course-by-course meal, her parents and in-laws think it would be better to go with the buffet style - thereby preventing the guests from complaining about how long this whole affair is and allowing them instead to get in, eat and get out. Oh very romance, such consideration, much special, yes.
At this particular wedding, guests were lucky enough that they could skip out on attending the ceremony altogether - as they could watch it on the screen from their buffet tables in the restaurant below. Well, we can't say Korea's not excelling at convenience in its hurry-hurry society.
But let's get back to the ceremony, because I do attend them. Having finished the photoshoot with wedding guests, and unsuperglued the bride from the bride's room chaise lounge (they're always sitting on a chaise lounge) - guests are ushered into the hall by a tannoy announcement, just as you are ushered into a theatre performance.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen are not really a thing here, so the groom stands alone - or at this wedding, makes his own solo entrance into the venue as guests applaud - and the bride walks down the aisle...followed by multiple wedding hall staff fussing over her dress in the most indiscreet way possible (I mean, they wear headphones and mics to verify procedures). At one wedding I attended, the aisle was literally a raised catwalk platform and the bride entered the hall from below in a glass elevator. Cinderella, eat your heart out.
The ceremony itself is not so different from its Western counterpart, although there is usually some kind of special event. For example, my first time at a Korean wedding I ended being a part of the show - walking down that raised catwalk to give the bride a rose as she was serenaded by a band. It would have been made less mortifying if: a) I hadn't been told only halfway through the wedding that I was going to be doing this, and b) I wasn't worried about guests being able to see up my skirt and/or falling down on my way to the blushing bride.
At the most recent wedding I attended, there was a musical trend. First, a choir made up of the bride's father and friends. Then an act in which the groom's friends willingly made fools of themselves, bless them, as they danced (terribly) and sang (even more terribly) to an old Korean pop song. Finally, the bride and groom walked back up the aisle to another set of singers crooning Josh Groban's 'You Raise Me Up'. Then they came back in, visibly more relaxed now that they had officially tied the knot and the stage production was over. Time to dig into that buffet.
Although romance and intimacy may not be the priority of the typical Korean wedding, I do have to say that they are amazing spectacles to behold. There's definitely a few elements I'm filing away - not the Josh Groban parts, though. And like all weddings, they are still an absolute pain to organise (dealing with all those family members is a nightmare for everyone, I'm sure). So when the bride and groom can finally call themselves husband and wife, it is worth applause and cheering...and a delicious plate of grub.
Special shout out to the man who ordained the ceremony - although I could only understand 10% of what he was saying, he seemed to be working the crowd well. This included a joke thanking us for attending, even though we were at the epicentre of the MERS outbreak. Oh the LOLs.
JH
*Koreans tend to accept money over any other form of wedding gift. The amount varies depending on your relationship with the bride or groom.
(Aside: One thing I love about Korea is how it has disposable umbrella covers available at the entrance of every public building - saves you from awkwardly carrying around a dripping mess and ruining the furniture. You'd think that London, which seems to be the root of all rain, would have jumped on this bandwagon by now.)
Now, if you've never attended a Korean wedding, let me tell you that (from what I have both seen and heard) they show you what true 'production value' is.
Like most weddings, Koreans take pride and care in picking out the venue. Often contemporary weddings here will take place in a 'wedding hall' - even a chapel wedding will take place in a 'chapel-style wedding hall' rather than in an actual church.
When you enter the building, and have finished the usual greetings and niceties ("Oh, we didn't expect you to come." ...I'm a foreign teacher, not anti-marriage), you should go to register your gift money.* It's always interesting to see the family member presiding over the money station become absolutely thrown when I hand them the envelope with "Jennifer" written on it... I hope they don't think I'm a pretentious wannabe-chaebol.
In exchange for your gift, you receive the ultimate prize for that day - the buffet ticket. This isn't even mild sarcasm, as much as it is a sad truth. If you're not a close family member or friend, it's most likely that you're more interested in the food than in the ceremony - you know, the part where the bride and groom express their undying love for each other and actually get married?? Indeed, another colleague in the midst of planning her wedding told me that, although she would prefer a restaurant style course-by-course meal, her parents and in-laws think it would be better to go with the buffet style - thereby preventing the guests from complaining about how long this whole affair is and allowing them instead to get in, eat and get out. Oh very romance, such consideration, much special, yes.
At this particular wedding, guests were lucky enough that they could skip out on attending the ceremony altogether - as they could watch it on the screen from their buffet tables in the restaurant below. Well, we can't say Korea's not excelling at convenience in its hurry-hurry society.
But let's get back to the ceremony, because I do attend them. Having finished the photoshoot with wedding guests, and unsuperglued the bride from the bride's room chaise lounge (they're always sitting on a chaise lounge) - guests are ushered into the hall by a tannoy announcement, just as you are ushered into a theatre performance.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen are not really a thing here, so the groom stands alone - or at this wedding, makes his own solo entrance into the venue as guests applaud - and the bride walks down the aisle...followed by multiple wedding hall staff fussing over her dress in the most indiscreet way possible (I mean, they wear headphones and mics to verify procedures). At one wedding I attended, the aisle was literally a raised catwalk platform and the bride entered the hall from below in a glass elevator. Cinderella, eat your heart out.
The ceremony itself is not so different from its Western counterpart, although there is usually some kind of special event. For example, my first time at a Korean wedding I ended being a part of the show - walking down that raised catwalk to give the bride a rose as she was serenaded by a band. It would have been made less mortifying if: a) I hadn't been told only halfway through the wedding that I was going to be doing this, and b) I wasn't worried about guests being able to see up my skirt and/or falling down on my way to the blushing bride.
At the most recent wedding I attended, there was a musical trend. First, a choir made up of the bride's father and friends. Then an act in which the groom's friends willingly made fools of themselves, bless them, as they danced (terribly) and sang (even more terribly) to an old Korean pop song. Finally, the bride and groom walked back up the aisle to another set of singers crooning Josh Groban's 'You Raise Me Up'. Then they came back in, visibly more relaxed now that they had officially tied the knot and the stage production was over. Time to dig into that buffet.
Although romance and intimacy may not be the priority of the typical Korean wedding, I do have to say that they are amazing spectacles to behold. There's definitely a few elements I'm filing away - not the Josh Groban parts, though. And like all weddings, they are still an absolute pain to organise (dealing with all those family members is a nightmare for everyone, I'm sure). So when the bride and groom can finally call themselves husband and wife, it is worth applause and cheering...and a delicious plate of grub.
Special shout out to the man who ordained the ceremony - although I could only understand 10% of what he was saying, he seemed to be working the crowd well. This included a joke thanking us for attending, even though we were at the epicentre of the MERS outbreak. Oh the LOLs.
JH
*Koreans tend to accept money over any other form of wedding gift. The amount varies depending on your relationship with the bride or groom.